E Shat imself!
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Welcome. Whats happenin this update?
Well i Have noticed reports popping up of Donner eating dax rubbing headcases called sh-isms, they are munching their way through birmingham and are not to be trusted, armed with things such as pellet guns and spoons, these people are marching to a town near you!
P.S. i may be involved in some way.
P.P.S. JOIN UUUUUSSSSSS
ok I have 2 confess the odd conversations page much like sweet sweet sanity's ones , is on the about page
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball
into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it
and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap,
I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that
there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you
wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay." For her first
wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish
will also make your husband the most handsome man in
the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will
be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes
for me."
So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the
world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest
woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the
richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer
than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine
is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she
answered, "I'd like a very mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever bitches. Don't
mess with them.
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THE 26 TOP THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY AT WORK
1. I can see your point shellis, but I still think you're
full of shit.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't
give a fuck.
3. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
4. It sounds like German but I think you should fuck off before I hit you
5. I see you've set aside this special time to
humiliate yourself in public.
6. Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us
again.
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of
strangers.
8. I'm already visualising the toe of my boot up ure arse.
9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean
you're a good teacher flakey.
10. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh
nervously and change the subject.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.
12. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet
it's hard to pronounce.
13. Any connection between your reality and mine is
purely coincidental.
14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young
and stupid.
15. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
17. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by
your unique point of view.
18. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of
Karma to burn off.
19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are
largely ceremonial.
20. No, my powers can only be used for good.
21. I'm really easy to get along with once people
learn to worship me.
22. You sound reasonable......time to up my
medication.
23. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being
smarter.
24. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a
message.
25. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
26. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
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What an Arse, love handles more industrial use anti corrosion door knobs of love
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Bob the knob what a joker!
Useful Expressions for those HIGH STRESS days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine?
2. Do I look like a fucking people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent
lighting.
4. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
5. You! Off my planet!!
6. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless
acts of self-control.
7. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
8. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
9. How many times do I have to flush before you go
away?
10. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
11. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
12. Earth is full, Go home.
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